The Starter Bookshelf – Part 1

Angela Knight asked me for my favorite reference books for writing love scenes. This bibliography also appears in her book, Passionate Ink: A Guide to Writing Erotic Romance.

This list is slanted toward female authors writing heterosexual love scenes.

Hope it helps you too -

Encyclopedias
If you own nothing else, own these books. In my opinion, these two books are complementary. However, some people, because of their topical overlap, prefer one or the other.

1. Joannides, Paul. Guide to Getting It On! Ebury Press, 2004. ISBN 0091856981. This book covers almost everything in a very approachable, nonjudgmental fashion. There are multiple editions, all of which are excellent. It’s written by a guy, which doesn’t get in the way. But occasionally I find his slightly different perspective to be very useful.
2. Winks, Cathy and Anne Semans. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written. Cleis Press, 2005. ISBN 157344158. If it’s not the most complete sex manual ever written, it surely tried to be that. It’s written by two very experienced sex educators and is a useful counterweight to Paul Joannides’ book. The topics discussed overlap but the material isn’t identical.

Commonly-discussed topics

1. Blue, Violet. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure. Cleis Press, 2002. ISBN 1573441449. Written by a top sex educator, it tells about all of the aspects in great detail. It also includes short stories by erotica author Alison Tyler, illustrating each topic’s emotional impact.
2. Blue, Violet. The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure. Cleis Press, 2002. ISBN 1573441511. Written by a top sex educator, it tells about all of the aspects in great detail. It also includes short stories by erotica author Alison Tyler, illustrating each topic’s emotional impact.
3. Hooper, Anne. Anne Hooper’s Kama Sutra: Classic Lovemaking Techniques Reinterpreted for Today’s Lovers. Dorling Kindersley Limited, 1994. This is my personal favorite of the books describing and picturing positions and techniques from the great oriental picture books: the Kama Sutra, Ananga Ranga, and Perfumed Garden. It explains the fitness levels required, the breathing techniques utilized, and the resulting sensations. But everyone has their own preferences for favorite book of this type.
1. Hooper, Anne. Kama Sutra for 21st Century Lovers. DK Adult, 2003. ISBN 0789496550. This is the in-print version of this book.
4. Morin, Jack. Anal Pleasure and Health. Down There Press, 1998. ISBN 0960232494. Please read this book before writing an anal sex scene. It gives the scientific background and it’s accurate enough to be regularly used by medical practitioners.
5. Rogers, Ben R. & Joel Perry. Going Down: The Essential Guide to Oral Sex. Alyson Publications, 2002. ISBN 1555837522. Much as I appreciate Violet Blue’s thorough coverage of the subject, the fact remains that she’s a girl and she’s serious. Rogers & Perry’s book is very funny – and very male-centered. A must-read if you want to write a love scene from the male point-of-view.

Contemporary attitudes

1. The Writers at Nerve°. The Big Bang: A Guide to the New Sexual Universe. Plume, 2003. ISBN 0452284260. This encyclopedic guide by Nerve.com’s columnists Em and Lo is sassy, hilarious and fully illustrated. It’s both accurate and a look inside current attitudes for those from a slightly different generation.
2. Em & Lo. Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. ISBN: 0452285097. Very, very funny – and all too believable.

Extra-credit

1. Hartley, Nina. Nina’s Guide to Oral Sex. (DVD) Includes Nina’s Guide to Fellatio and Nina’s Guide to Cunnilingus. Nina Hartley’s How-To guides are accurate and work hard to show what really happens when someone’s enjoying themselves, rather than what makes the best camera angle for a porn movie. The examples are heterosexual and bisexual.
2. Lou Paget’s great trio of how-to books, based on her clinics. Her combination of humor and frankness is incredibly appealing and relaxing to me. Others may be more comprehensive but she’s incredibly good at putting me in the mood to write a love scene.
1. How to Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that Will Blow His Mind. Broadway, 1999. ISBN 0767902874
2. How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man to Know. Broadway, 2000. ISBN 0767904524.
3. The Big O: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. Judy Piatkus Publishers Ltd (January 24, 2002) ISBN 0749922923